Despair, Depression – Give up or Fight back?

I wrote this post a while back but it bears repeating. Depression is an ongoing battle and so many out there are fighting to climb out of that hole. Shout out to all those fighters, carry on. Fighting!

What is Despair? A state in which all hope is lost or absent. Depression? A mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity; Sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy.

Despair and depression grab you by the throat and slowly strangle the life out of you. They make you blind to the bright colors in your life so that all you can see is gray. A cold lifeless gray. It can be so seductive, so easy to surrender to it. 

What brought on this topic you may ask? I was thinking how a lot of us, potential writers and closet writers, are discouraged in writing, in following our dreams. You want to be a writer and people tell you it’s a pipe dream, give it up. Others tell you that you’re wasting time, give it up. More believe it’s just a hobby you’re fooling around with, that you’ll give it up soon enough. And there are those who laugh at you and believe you could never write anything worth reading and advise you to give it up. 

Those three words again: Give It Up. They go round and round in your head until they’re all you can see. And discouraged, you decide it was a foolish dream to start with after all and you GIVE IT UP. Then you go through your whole life incomplete and without hope, your life as gray as you are inside, devoid of the bright colors that spark up your soul.

How many of us fight through despair, depression every day? Through the loss of hope, through disappointment? 

The key to dealing with despair and depression is to not quit. NEVER give up on yourself. People might bring you down but believe in yourself. It’s the most powerful tool you could ever have – self-belief. 

1794523_641602905888986_1813770458_n

Fight for what you want. Give yourself a pep talk. Be your own inspiration, your own warrior.

Exercise frequently – believe me, it helps to have a physical outlet for all the frustration, disappointment, sadness bubbling inside of you. I recommend swimming if you can, it clears your head.

Relax with your favorite movie or TV show. All this helps in strengthening you for the obstacles in your life. 

Dream as big as you want, because dreams are what keep our souls alive. (So long as your dreams are legal and don’t hurt anyone, of course.)

Whatever you want to do, be it to write, to sing, to tame lions and sharks, go for it. Make a start somewhere. Try. Even if you fail, at least you’ll know you did your best. That you tried. Do it for yourself, not for others. The moment you start, something inside you unfolds and everything in your world shifts and becomes clearer. You have purpose in your life. 

There will be days you will be so full of hope you’ll be bursting with it. Anything will seem possible.

And there will be days when life cuts you to small pieces and you feel like you can’t get up. You have to get up, keep going, keep enduring, keep fighting. If you don’t fight back, you’re just lying there in the middle of the road and telling the bus of life to run you over. 

Treasure those days of hope and keep fighting on. Start now! 

Best of luck!

S.R. McKade

Dream = Hope

“I have spread my dreams under your feet.
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”
― W.B. Yeats

What are we without dreams? Often, I ask myself why I write, why I keep at it even in view of criticism and negative reviews. I know the answer, even when discouragement makes me question myself again and again.

The answer—I write because I have stories to tell, stories that won’t let my mind rest, stories that need to be told. Words have power. And by writing the stories in my head, I bring them to life. Give them power.

Of course, I want to write a bestseller, touch thousands of lives, maybe make them better. What writer doesn’t? But I write because I have to.

We wake, work, do what needs to be done, deal with our responsibilities and obligations, go to sleep at nightsome, exhausted. Others, restless, unable to sleep with our busy thoughts or worries keeping us up. And we wake up to do it all another day, and another.

Food, water, exercise and work feed our body, education our mind.

Dreams feed our soul. They are what give rise to music and books. To art. 
“Dreams nourish the soul just as food nourishes the body. The pleasure of the search and of adventure feeds our dreams.”
― Paulo Coelho

Without dreams, a soul can wither because there is no hope. What are we without hope but hollow shells?

I wonder sometimes if dreams aren’t what give us courage—the courage to face the hurdles of our lives day after day. I believe even in the hardest times of our lives, we should have dreams, for they give us hope. Hope for a better future.

S.R. McKade

Blessings in disguise

When I look back over the years and reflect over the things I’ve done or didn’t do, the bad and good things that happened, I had quite a few regrets. Regrets over how I should have done this or handled that or things I shouldn’t have done.

Even though I had regrets, every little thing that happened, molded me into the person I am today and I find myself lucky to be who I am.

Perfect in my imperfections

Besides, everything’s always clear in hindsight 🙂

There have been a few times over the years when I’ve wished – if only I could go back and change the past. Don’t we all? But I think, looking back, that I wouldn’t change a thing. Even the bad stuff.

Because the bad stuff made me grow, deepened my thoughts and my soul. Made me become stronger. When you let yourself despair, when you let the bad stuff crush you and keep rehashing the past over and over again, you don’t grow. You become static, stale, unaware of who you are, cut off from your soul. I chose to accept that everything bad that occurred, happened for a reason.

Every bad thing that has happened to me, turned into a blessing in disguise or I should say, I searched for and found the blessing in it.

There’s a big difference between how you view the things that happen to you. You can chose to fold under them or look them in the eye and say “I’m stronger. I will get through this.”

There’s a prayer I’ve always believed in, no matter how hard things get:
“The Serenity Prayer (extract)

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.”

When one door closes, another opens. All those clichés are really true. There’s always a way out. You just have to look hard enough to find it. Things are never as desperate as they appear to be.

When you feel as if everything’s hopeless, learn to bear it with the faith that it will work out or that something better will come out of it.

Find a way to wield a positive spin on the bad stuff. For me, sarcastic humor always helps. 😀

humor

Find your silver lining. Grow strong like an oak tree and in the face of cyclonic winds, stand tall and true. Grow.

Regards,

S.R. McKade

Review – Heart Shaped Rock by Laura Roppe

21902780Genre: Young Adult

Review: 5 of 5 stars

Release Date: 16 May 2014

This book hooked me in so deeply I read it in one sitting. It was so captivating, I couldn’t bear to pull away from it. The author’s writing is witty, funny, and thoughtful.

Heart Shaped Rock is about a young girl — a young woman really, because anyone who’s dealt with grief knows that it forces you to grow up fast — and how she deals with the heartbreaking loss of her mother to cancer at such a tender age, how she fights to hold the grief at bay, to try to feel normal again. To not miss her mother so much that she feels lost without her. To heal.

It’s about how a teenager’s life can be fraught with pitfalls and as complicated as an adult’s. I felt for Shaynee and I could relate to her and her family, picking up the pieces of their lives after her mother’s death. The cute and sweet little brother, the father who’s lost without the love of his life and wondering how to keep going on, how to be there for his two children.

One of the most emotional and deeply heartfelt books I’ve ever read. Not to mention, the songs were awesome and are now currently gracing my mp3 player. The author wrote amazing lyrics. I absolutely loved the songs ‘Cobalt Blue’ and ‘Heart Shaped Rock’. I enjoyed all the characters in this story, how the author made them so vivid, so real. I loved Dean, how charismatic and caring he was.

And the emotion, oh it just jumped out of each page! I laughed and I cried and I felt. You know how when you listen to a good song and it affects you so deeply that goosebumps break out on your skin, or you cry from feeling so much? That’s what Heart Shaped Rock is – one long heartfelt song. This book is for everyone who has been through the loss of someone special and who knows how hard the road to healing can be – some days you’re okay and others you just lapse again. For anyone who appreciates a story with emotion so well-portrayed, it seems to leap out of the page. Kudos to the author for creating such an amazing story.

Highly Recommended.

Despair, Depression – Give up or Fight back?

What is Despair? A state in which all hope is lost or absent. Depression? A mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity; Sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy. 

Despair and depression grab you by the throat and slowly strangle the life out of you. They make you blind to the bright colors in your life so that all you can see is gray. A cold lifeless gray. It can be so seductive, so easy to surrender to it. 

What brought on this topic you may ask? I was thinking how a lot of us, potential writers and closet writers, are discouraged in writing, in following our dreams. You want to be a writer and people tell you it’s a pipe dream, give it up. Others tell you that you’re wasting time, give it up. More believe it’s just a hobby you’re fooling around with, that you’ll give it up soon enough. And there are those who laugh at you and believe you could never write anything worth reading and advise you to give it up. 

Those three words again: Give It Up. They go round and round in your head until they’re all you can see. And discouraged, you decide it was a foolish dream to start with after all and you GIVE IT UP. Then you go through your whole life incomplete and without hope, your life as gray as you are inside, devoid of the bright colors that spark up your soul.

How many of us fight through despair, depression every day? Through the loss of hope, through disappointment? 

The key to dealing with despair and depression is to not quit. NEVER give up on yourself. People might bring you down but believe in yourself. It’s the most powerful tool you could ever have – self-belief. 

1794523_641602905888986_1813770458_n

Fight for what you want. Give yourself a pep talk. Be your own inspiration, your own warrior.

Exercise frequently – believe me, it helps to have a physical outlet for all the frustration, disappointment, sadness bubbling inside of you. I recommend swimming if you can, it clears your head.

Relax with your favorite movie or TV show. All this helps in strengthening you for the obstacles in your life. 

Dream as big as you want, because dreams are what keep our souls alive. So long as your dreams are legal and don’t hurt anyone, of course. 

Whatever you want to do, be it to write, to sing, to tame lions and sharks, go for it. Make a start somewhere. Try. Even if you fail, at least you’ll know you did your best. That you tried. Do it for yourself, not for others. The moment you start, something inside you unfolds and everything in your world shifts and becomes clearer. You have purpose in your life. 

There will be days you will be so full of hope you’ll be bursting with it. Anything will seem possible.

And there will be days when life cuts you to small pieces and you will feel like you can’t get up. Those days I like to stay in bed but of course I can’t. You have to get up, keep going, keep enduring, keep fighting. If you don’t fight back, you’re just lying there in the middle of the road and telling the bus of life to run you over. 

Treasure those days of hope and keep fighting on. Start now! 

Best of luck!

S.R. McKade